Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
