My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
