I smell stomach acid.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
