you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
