Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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