can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
