Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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