It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
