I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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