so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
