your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
birth control should be required to get into college
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
