Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
