You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
