Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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