Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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