Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
