I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
