She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
