Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
