i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
