woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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