return my video game
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i used baking grease as lip gloss
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
