So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
