I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
