I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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