hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
