The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
