What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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