White coat. Heels.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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