Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
