I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
