the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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