what day is it and did you see me today?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
