it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
