Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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