I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
