The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
