So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize