one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Semen is not good for contacts.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
