She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
