also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
