just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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