don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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