I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
