these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
