I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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