Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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