Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
