Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
