just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
