Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
